No Strings Attached:
Part Two: De-cluttering
Sometimes we have to re-organize ourselves as individuals. In order to do this, we require a fresh slate of beginnings. Each new day you are granted and blessed to see is an opportunity to become better, it means your journey has yet to be completed and your progress is just getting started.
It is time for you to take a moment after breaking to de-clutter yourself. Have you ever felt in certain moments that you were consumed with so much, and even too much? This is a sign that you are in need of cleansing yourself of all unwanted things, and the things you no longer need. When you are consumed with too many things at once, you can become toxic internally and externally.
The unwanted, neglectful, and negative entities that attempt to plague you affect your value. Those things in return affect the love you need for yourself. You have to clean; otherwise you will remain in turmoil of chaos. Detoxify internally as well as externally. You must first de-clutter internally to know your value and worth. The external portion de-clutters when you have molded yourself more equipped to your value as a person.
Here are some of the following ways to de-clutter:
- Spend time alone– There is a difference in isolation and being alone. Being alone is being with self for an intentional purpose. You learn the most about yourself when it is just you and the space you are in. There is no room for error or interference, just you, space, and opportunity.
- Feedback- Sometimes we need feedback from others, but it is important to be receptive. Understand that self- view is not the only view. As humans it is important that we are coherent to different perspectives and views. It allows for growth and substance. However do not conflict this notion, we should not care “too” much, otherwise we will never be true to ourselves. However, feedback and viewpoints are important in further molding ourselves and evolving through coherence and being open-minded.
- Intimate circle- Identify the people you care for, and the people who care for you. Surrounding yourself with people who are “for” you like you are “for” them will impact your de-cluttering. By “for”, it means people intended and introduced into your life purposefully. These are the people who want you to become the best version of yourself and want the best for you out of life. You will recognize these people at the pit of your worst; if they are still ever present do not steer them any different. Allow them to be there for you.
- Removal- Remove what is not healthy for you. This can be relationships, personal possessions, attitudes/behaviors, or habits. Space for growth is neither available nor present due to the amount of space being taken by what must be removed. These are not bad people or things, they are just not meant for you. They were meant for reasons, but not longevity. The removal of certain relationships/people or things may allow not only for you to grow, but for them to grow as well. The best love is giving someone what they need, not what they want.
Give yourself time to de-clutter, wipe away the smudges, dust, and debris that has been collected from hoarding away so many things. Minimize yourself to make room for self-love to work its way through the cracks and crevices of your mind, body, and soul. Make room for love to enter where it needed to be all along.
No Strings Attached:
Part One: Dealing With Your Broken
If you noticed, sometimes it takes something broken for a breakthrough to arise. It sounds ironic, that something drastic must occur or that someone must have hit their breaking point to conquer the problem. We do not look at self-love originally as a problem; we view it as a part of our lifestyle. It’s involved in our behaviors and our words. These actions, words, and thoughts we possess that are negligent to our image and the perception we have of ourselves. They become things that we have adapted to, they become “us”.
Every person has a breaking point, but we do not revel in this. We frown at the idea of “breaking” because, society around us has painted the scenario and implanted the thought that broken is not beautiful, desirable, or loved. The idea of broken has been changed into the following: unattainable, undesirable, unfixable, and hopeless. These fixated terms slope the way we view ourselves, it diminishes our love for our existence. Here is the message I hope resonates with you after your breakdown:
- Diminish Suppression: Do not deprive yourself of being set free and lifted of burdens and constraints. We as humans are not equipped to inhibiting ourselves and concealing our attitudes and emotions beyond a certain point. Allow yourself to unravel; you do not have to remain together to the point where you are only hurting yourself by holding everything in.
- Acknowledge the Pain- Some forms of acknowledgement hurt, and the acknowledgement of lacking self-love is one of many pains. Broken is a deeply rooted feeling, which evolves from tiny portion of us into engulfing and encompassing the person as a whole. When the pain is acknowledged or treated as something small or as nothing, it becomes so much more. If you ignore it, you do a disservice to yourself and your humanness by ignoring that you are hurting and in pain. Tell yourself the truth, acknowledge what is real.
- Broken Is Not Pretty But Needed- Understand that your journey to reaching a breakthrough of self-love and value is not going to be “pretty”, it will not be something you will be attracted to in the beginning. The lack of self-love or the idea of living yourself has become unfamiliar. When you have journeyed too far and too deep into the dark place where self-love has become scarce or absent in worth, it takes more time and investment to resolve. Sometimes you have to be broken gracefully in the most impressive way.
- You are Repairable- Do not view yourself as a hopeless tragedy, do not abandon yourself. Broken can be beautiful again, be wise you can evolve from it. Nothing can be exactly the same as it once was but it can be better and more valued.
This area is a start for gaining control of where you are losing yourself and your worth. It is important to unravel and release to replenish yourself. Begin in this phase; loosen at the seams where you are holding on by the threads.
- Write a letter to yourself, the person you are now, and tell them how you feel.
- Pray and have a conversation with God, your close inner circle, or even yourself.
- Meditate and take a pause. (Disengage from distractions for a set moment for yourself).
- Cry; release the negative energy and emotions inside of you.
After you have finished any or some of these options tell yourself you are going to do better and become better. Speak this into existence, to where you begin to believe it is real. This series and phases of gaining self-love in the most unconditional will be a significant journey. By the end, I hope you will gain the gift of loving yourself with no restraints, no conditions, and no strings attached.